Change Not Survival

By Arron Engling

It’s apparent that high school is romanticized.

Every single piece of media I’ve ever seen about high school has dramatized it to the extent of being nearly unrecognizable; adding in common cliches and mediocre storylines that simply don’t fit in with reality.

While this could be simply for entertainment purposes, it’s also no lie that entire generations of students have had their perspective of what school should be like warped because of these fictionalized, coming of age tales.

We expect the pièce de résistance, for our day-to-day life to be a constant whirlwind of emotions and conflicts, only for them to eventually settle like they do at the end of a fairytale.

Yet, during my time at Sebastian River High School, my perception of that vaguely dreamlike state of academia has been shattered in the best possible way.

I’ve come to not expect, or even fear, the dramatic rise and fall of a school day. I’m no longer waiting for some life changing moment to be tossed carelessly into my lap. Nor, am I halted with bated breath waiting for some extravagant expectation that could never be.

Instead, the most freeing realization I’ve come to during my four years here is that this is a place where I can relax. I can unstiffen my shoulders and let the days roll down my back.

I can allow each school day to come and go without longing for something that would never be. And, wow, has my life become more enjoyable now that I have finally made peace with that.

For the past twelve years of my life, I’ve been in and out of schools. Silently aging, stumbling into the next year with the wayward impression that this is it, I’m finally here now, this is the most mature I’ll ever be, only to pack up my things up 180 days later and repeat the cycle.

This year though, as a senior, that cycle will end. And, I’m finding it a little hard to let go.

Knowing I must leave these familiar corridors and those who fill it behind is frightening.

I’ve grown to love school, to love all the minuscule interactions I have here; lounging with my friends in the sun at lunch and idly chatting about the next test we have, the next assignment. Looming in the back of our minds is the question us seniors can’t stop contemplating: What comes next?

I have no idea, but what I do know is that unlike the romanticized versions of high school we see in film and on TV, high school is not about “survival” at all.

High School is about change. It slithers in without us noticing and like chameleons, we change with it. Here we become someone entirely new, someone who fits into their skin better than ever before. Here we learn to relax.