Grateful for School

By Marlie Smith

I am grateful for my school. I know, that is not something most teenagers would say when asked what they are most thankful for, but for me, this year is a significant milestone in my life.

High school is stressful, especially your first year—the amount of new people you meet, all the new classes and teachers, the assignments and tests—it is a lot to take in. And it is even more stressful when you are grieving.

In early 2020, I lost my mom. It is a lot to openly talk about, but I am hoping I can help someone with their grief by discussing mine. A recent loss makes everything harder, sometimes it makes things seem nearly impossible.

After my mom passed away in late March, I had no energy to do anything, and every task seemed huge, no matter how small it really was.

I enrolled myself into Florida Virtual School, but I barely did any work. I struggled a lot; I had to teach myself everything. The online classes became increasingly difficult, and then summer came. I was sent to a camp for kids dealing with grief.

The camp lasted a week, and phones were not allowed. It was not until my dad picked me up from the airport that I knew I would be going to Sebastian River High School in three days. I had not been to a full-time public school in eight years. I was horrified.

I was so scared I was going to mess something up, that I had been home schooled for so long that I would not know how to talk to people.

I was worried about never having friends, having never actually had a real in-person high school experience. You might think that was a silly thing to worry about, but to me it was important.

I grew up watching TV shows and movies that centered on high school life. Everything was coming of age, and everything revolved around social connections, but I had never been to a football game or a Homecoming dance.

I was also afraid of the workload; I thought maybe it would be too much for me to handle in the wake of my mom’s death.

I came to school a day early to check out the campus and get an idea of where some of my classes were. The campus was clean and pretty. It felt surreal.

I do not remember the first day of school that well, but I do remember feeling a little weird. A lot more people talked to me than I thought would. It was, surprisingly, really fun.

The first week was easy because we were not given any real assignments. It was mostly safety protocols, teambuilding, and course introductions.

My fears about being the new kid at high school quickly subsided. I made really great friends the first week. During the first few months, I went to my first football game, and even my first Homecoming dance.

I came to high school for the first time this year and quickly found what I was so worried I’d never have: friends.

Life is so much more fun now. I enjoy Sebastian River High School. I am thankful for the people I have met here.
I am grieving the loss of my mother, and I know I am not alone.